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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25341391">Forbidden Knowledge</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Argiepoo/pseuds/Argiepoo'>Argiepoo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek &amp; Paul/Levenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Evan Hansen Can't Handle Feelings, Jared Kleinman Is Bad at Feelings, Past Suicide Attempt, They're both trying, because that's apparently all i post</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:01:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>511</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25341391</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Argiepoo/pseuds/Argiepoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There are things Evan shouldn't know.</p><p>There are things Jared wishes he didn't</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan Hansen &amp; Jared Kleinman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Forbidden Knowledge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>God, this is so short, sorry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everyone knows something that they shouldn't. Maybe you shouldn't know the people in the back alleyways of your town better than you know your own father. Maybe you shouldn't be aware of <em>exactly</em> how far above the speed limit you can go in a school zone and not get a ticket. Maybe you shouldn't know that apples and potatoes last longer and are cheaper than other fruits, even if you do get sick of them <em>really</em> quickly.</p><p>Evan shouldn't know that you can survive a 40 foot drop from a tree if you hit a few branches on the way down, land on an unfortunately thick pile of leaves, and hit your arm instead of your head.</p><p>Evan shouldn't know the frighteningly thrilling feeling of knowing you're about to die, and knowing that nobody is going to be there when you do.</p><p>Evan shouldn't know the dazed emptiness of looking through the leaves of the tree above you, the flicker of disappointment that the sun is still shining and the wind is still blowing, before your arm is engulfed with pain.</p><p>Evan shouldn't know the desperate scramble of trying to convince yourself that it was an <em>accident</em>, that you might be depressed but you're not that pathetic.</p><p>Evan shouldn't know how easy it is to turn away from the evidence presented to you by your own brain that proves that it was intentional.</p><p>Jared wishes he didn't know how Evan broke his arm. Well, how Evan <em>said</em> he broke his arm. Because it was a <em>really</em> stupid story; even someone like Evan should be able to come up with a better one than that.</p><p>Jared wishes he didn't know Evan well enough to know that he wasn't quite lying when he said he fell out of a tree. That made it even sadder. Who climbs trees over the age of nine?</p><p>Jared wishes he didn't know Evan well enough to know that he wasn't quite telling the truth, either.</p><p>Jared wishes he didn't know that Evan was, quite literally, a professional tree climber. Sure, maybe he wasn't getting paid for that stupid internship, but it was basically a job. A job that included climbing trees.</p><p>Jared wishes he didn't know Evan when they were both still in elementary school.</p><p>Jared wishes he didn't know that Evan hasn't fallen out of a tree since he was six. He scraped his knee, and instead of giving up, he vowed to get good enough that he never fell out of one again. It was cute, at the time. Now it just meant that his mindset had changed.</p><p>Jared wishes he didn't know that there were only so many reasons Evan would want to crack his skull open. Evan only talked to so many people. Maybe that was the problem. That was a problem Jared could've fixed. That was an issue he only made worse. <em>It was his fault</em>.</p><p>Evan shouldn't know what it feels like to want to die.</p><p>Jared wishes he didn't know what it feels like to want to have never existed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello, random burst of motivation! Hello, abundance of Kleinsan angst in my bookmarks! So apparently I can't do normal one-shots, and this is the result. Also because I really wanted to point out some things that have been tickling the back of my mind for forever, like how on earth did Jared believe Evan, the tree nerd, the kid who's probably been scaling trees for his entire life, just fell out of one?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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